Welcome To The Black Order Zoo!
by MidnightAbyssx02
Summary: Crack. Follow MidnightAbyssx02 and SOULx3399 as they travel through the DGM Zoo! Rabbits, pandas, kangeroos, you name it! And our two beloved wolves are mates! Aww! Yullen.


**~ Welcome To The Black Order Zoo! ~**

Abyss: Hey guys! I'm back with another CRRRRRAAACK FICT!

Allen: Not another crack fict! The other one was, was...

Lavi: Perverted. But I like it~

Kanda: DAMN YOU USAGI!

Lavi: Did you hear something? No? Oh yah! Yuu-chan! Have you read some YUUUULLEN?

Kanda: -eye twitches-

Allen: Okay... Here's the disclaimer! ABYSS DOES NOT OWN D. GRAY MAN. Or Yullen would have been the main pairing in the whole series... O.o

-phone rings-

Abyss: Ello~^^

SOUL: YOU ALL JUST FUCKING FORGOT ABOUT ME!

Abyss: -whinced-

Lavi: Let's begin the story!

Abyss: YAY! NOW I'M OFF TO VISIT THE ZOO!

Summary: The DGM characters find themselves in the Black Order Zoo! And as we all know wolves are animals too, what if both our black and white wolves happened to be mates? Take a tour around the Black Order Zoo! Summary sucks. Story is much better! PLZ R&R! Crack-fict.

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><p>"Welcome to the Black Order Zoo! My name is Tiwi<em><strong>(AN:It's SOUL and my version of calling Tyki and Wisely at the same time!) **_and I will be your tour guide for today! I will show you our special animals! Please follow me!" The tour guide led Abyss and SOUL into the newly opened zoo.

"We're going to the zoo. You can come along too.

Ev'ry Saturday we go the zoo. It's our favorite thing to do.

With our family, my brother and me

Go visit our friends at the zoo. We'll introduce them to you.

Giraffes and kangaroos, bears and lions too, all live in our zoo.

They will welcome you with a how do you- OW!"

SOUL stomped on Abyss' foot, leaving her hopping around on one leg. That's just how their relationship has always been. Abyss dashed at SOUL, trying to headlock her, sadly getting headlocked by SOUL instead. "HA! 9 YEAR OLD!" SOUL sneered. Abyss escaped her grasp and launched at her again. "Here we have our kangeroo section! We have three of them! We name them, Komui, Lenalee and Reever respectively."

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><p>Abyss and SOUL went towards the railings and checked out the kangeroos. "Hey look at that! They're forcing Komui is stop doing something. Are those..." Abyss squinted her eyes."Robot parts? ROBOT PART! OMG KOMURIN IS COMING! WE'RE GONNA DIE! COME ON SOUL! WE GOTTA RUN!" SOUL smacked Abyss on her head. "OW!"<p>

"But Reever! I don't want to let go of Komurin! Lenalee-chan! Help me!" Komui was hugging onto a bunch of metal, the other two trying to pull him off them. All three of them have a strong tail and a pair of kangeroo ears at the top of their heads. And guess what the kangeroos' special abilities are?

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><p>Lenalee got pissed off, so did Reever. Komui's wails were cut off as Reever jumped kicked him away from the useless piece of metal. His foot contacted with Komui's cheeks, giving off a dramatic feel. Lenalee jumped from the other direction and sent the leftovers of Komurin up into the sky. A dramatic "! KOMURIN!" filled the listeners ears. Abyss and SOUL appluded the act, and continued their way to another species, missing the sign<p>

_Kangeroo Kicking Time_

_12noon-3pm_

_Come and see the magic of_

_the kicking kangeroo!_

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><p>"Next we have our bunny and panda! I know they are not of the same species but they just seem to," Tiwi turned to face the two hybrids, the panda karate-chopping the bunny."get along SO well!" Abyss and SOUL stared blankly at the hybrids. The red headed guy have a pair of red bunny ears on his head, and a bob tail as well. The panda, well, have a pair of black bear ears at the side of his ponytail. And sure enough, he have the all famous Panda-eyes!"The red bunny is called Lavi, and the Panda is called Bookman." They watched as Bookman continued to chase Lavi around. "Go read your books!" I don't want to! Old man!"<p>

"What did you call me?"

"AHHHHHHHH! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Abyss and SOUL shrugged, and walked off, not planning to help. Not one bit.

_Rabbit Study Time_

_12:30pm-2:30pm_

_The wonders a panda can do_

_to get a rabbit to read!_

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><p>They went around the zoo, looking at different animals hybrids. Mouse, zebra, pocupine, python, lions, peacock, bat and a brown bear. Now they're going to visit...

_**THE WOLVES!**_

"What did you call me, Bakanda!" A high-pitched voice, but definately a male, yelled. "I called you Moyashi, Moyashi."

"Your brain is just too small to store any infomation in it, isn't it? Come on, lets see if there's anything inside that thing you call a pea-sized brain."

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><p>"This is our prized possessions. The white wolf is Allen, and the black is Kanda. And yes, they are mates." Abyss and SOUL started squealing. "OMG YAOI!" SOUL shouted. "YULLEN~!" Abyss squealed. The two half wolf half human didn't seem to hear them. "Fuck you!" Kanda roared. "Oh my god! You knew something that's so advanced! Here's a smiley! Get 4 more and you get a cookie!" Allen shot back sarcastically. Tiwi sighed. "Normally, they are very sweet to each other, but as you can see... Their seldom argument is in progress. The only way to break them up is to say that you're gonna take Allen away. Like this!" Tiwi faced the fighting couple. "Hey Kanda! If you continue fighting we're gonna take Allen away from you! And place him with LAVI!"<p>

They frozed instantly. Kanda held Allen tightly and snarled at Tiwi, earning a smile from him. Kanda's middle finger immediately flew out, pointing at the very guy. "Fuck. You. Damn. Ass." Tiwi shrugged it off. "We've reached the end of the tour! How'd you like it?" Abyss nodded her head vigorously and SOUL nodded her simply. "I LOVE THE WOLVES!" Abyss squealed. "Now, ple-"

"YAH I KNOW! I LOVE YULLEN!"

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><p>After an hour of fangirling, Tiwi finally broke them both up. Kanda was sending death glares in their direction, and covering Allen's fluffy ears. Not knowing that he heard a few words. Tiwi saw them both out and right before they exitted, they turned, and saw Allen and Kanda kissing. Abyss and SOUL started squealing even more. And Tiwi shove them both out. He sighed, rubbing his temple. "I hate my job..."<p>

Allen pulled back from the kiss, and looked up at Kanda's eyes. "Yuu?"

"Hm?"

"What's an uke? Why did they call me an uke?"

Kanda frozed, his glare intensified at the retreating backs of the two fangirls. "Those bitches..."

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><p>Abyss: AND THAT'S THE END OF THIS CRACK FICT!<p>

Allen: YOU YULLEN OBSSESSED FREAK!

Abyss: Teehee!^^

Kanda: You...

SOUL: Oh no!

Abyss: RUN!

-SOUL and Abyss have exited the chatbox-

Lavi: Hey! Come back!

Allen: Yuu! Don't kill them!

Kanda: Che.

Allen: Once again... What's an uke?

-SOUL and Abyss have rejoined the chatbox-

SOUL: An uke is the one at the bottom. Or having a dick shoved up their ass.

Abyss: Or you could say the one getting dominated, to avoid a more detailed reasoning.

Allen: -gap- So... When you said I was a 100% uke... I'll be topped by someone else forever?

Abyss: YEP! GOD I LOVE ALLEN-UKE!

SOUL: AND POKER PAIR! AND YULLEN! WE LOVE THOSE!

Abyss: PLZ REVIEW! And here are the animal matches to each character!

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><p>MouseMiranda (Cause she's so timid!)<p>

ZebraKrory (Notice his hair color?)

PocupineChaoji (His hair... -touches- OW! HIS HAIR IS A DEADLIER WEAPON THAN HIS STUPID INNOCENCE!)

PythonZakuro (He is 2 freaking metres tall! He's HUGE!)

LionsKlaud and Cross (Klaud holds a whip, like circus trainers to tame lions, so I thought she should be one. Cross? His hair is long and thick like a lion's mane...)

PeacockBak (He's so proud of himself.)

BatMarie (He's blind, bats have a horrible sense of vision. He's got a excellent sense of hearing like bats.)

Brown bearHead Nurse (I dunno... It fits her image to me!)


End file.
